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Family Photos

We recently had family pictures taken by the very talented and very fun Sara, from More Photos, Less Words.  They are fantastic!  It's very hard to believe that she is still in high school.  We believe that she has a bright future.  Here are some of my favorites, and here are the links to her blog posts specifically relating to us! 

Sneak Peek

The F Family

This Smile...

Is so contagious.  I cannot see it and not smile back.  It is so lopsided.  It has been since her very first one!  I'm so glad that she didn't grow out of it.  She smiles and her whole being lights up. From the inside out. She smiles with her eyes more than anyone I've ever met.  I'm sure you've read in books where the character has smiling, or dancing eyes.  Well, this kid's got 'em!

And this one?  This smile lights the whole world.  

His eyes smile too.  And that dimple! Oh, I am in trouble.  These two are gonna break some hearts for sure! For now though, I am gonna do my best to make sure that the joy and delight in these smiles stays there.

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This Weeks photos, taken Sunday evening.  Right before I got to experience the magic of Beauty and the Beast, Disney-style, with Stella.  And right before we put Bruce to bed! 

I looked at this picture after I took it, and realized how big he's getting!

Thoughts

To start, a warning.  I will not be re-reading or editing this post.  It is very much a post for me.  It's really to help me gather my thoughts, hopefully coherently.  Ok, consider yourself warned.

Today, church was hard.  Why?  I'm not really sure.

Maybe because today marked the 1 year point for us of attending Trinity.  Don't get me wrong, I love it there.  I have enjoyed being a part of the fellowship of believers there.  I have enjoyed getting to know people there.  It's starting to feel like home.  I guess that's the problem.  It also makes the one year mark of Sid and I having no ministry.  And I feel like none, at all.  And that's hard.  I haven't sung in a choir, served in the nursery, or worked with a teenager, worked, HA, I don't think I even know more than a handful of names of teens there let alone anything about them!

I guess part of it too, is that I just figured we would never be there for a year.  I thought for sure that God would have moved us to a new church where Sid would be working.  So maybe it's hard because I was so sure we'd only be there 6 months. I keep holding on to the hope that He will, someday.  But I have stopped putting a time frame on it.  The other part of that is that I haven't allowed myself to make real friendships.  I want to, but why put myself through the pain of having to tear myself away if we're just gonna be here for a little while.  But now it's been a whole year.  And I have and am friends, and more and more I am allowing myself to make the deeper connections that I want, and need, and I think that God wants us to have with other believers.  I mean, how can we lift each other up, if we aren't close enough to reach each other, right? 

I hate being or feeling like I'm in limbo.  And yet, here I am, a year of it.  I don't know why.  I keep asking myself, and God, what haven't I learned yet?  Why are we still here?  What comes next?  When will Sid have a regular, full time job?  This cobbling together hours from 2 or 3 places is slowly killing me.  And him.

The other thing I was thinking about this morning, was why do I feel like I've been shunned?  Not by Trinity, by any means?  But the last one?  I have seen, with the exception of a retreat in March that none of them knew I would be at, 2 of my friends.  And one of them it was only once.  Is that just out of sight, out of mind?  And I know that a telephone works both ways, but really? I was so hurt when we left, and this house is mine, but only kinda-sorta.  It's hard to invite people over.  It's getting easier to do that, but it's taken almost a year.

I guess I'm still sorting everything out, and typing it all out helps.

Happy 4th of July!

Since we now live with my parents, "on the parade route," big deal that it is, we got to enjoy every bit of the decorating and preparing.  My mom and I prepared sandwich stuff, cleaned like mad, and had no idea how many people were coming!  We prayed that God would feed the hungry masses, and just like with loaves and fishes, there were even leftovers!  He's faithful! 

We had around 40 people, and it was really fun.  Stella had lots of friends to play with, and play she did.  The parade is as hokey and fun as ever.  About 45 minutes worth of bands, kids on bikes, and, well, how many mascots do the Reading Phillies have?  
Bruce seemed to enjoy it a little more this year.  He even enjoyed his very own 1st lolli-pop! I have just a few pictures of the festivities, mostly taken by my cousin Josh.  Thanks Josh! 

We spent the afternoon hanging out and enjoying the beautiful weather, and went swimming at my cousins inlaws house. Thanks Jake and Nicki!

Just for fun I went back to look at last years 4th of July post.  The difference is amazing in the kids!  Here's the link in case you are interested!

52-26 Half-way!

I Know!  I can't believe it either.  Half-stinkin'-way through the year.  That went really fast.    I am actually pretty impressed with myself for making it this far!  I wasn't sure I could remember, and there have been weeks months where I forgot to put them up on time, but they are all up!  The mid-way point in the year happens to coincide with the 4th of July, so... yes I know that last weeks picture was technically taken the day before this one, but... I'm gonna count it!

Cute, aren't they?

Drama, Drama, Drama

My son, whom I love with my whole heart, is a drama king.  He will throw himself, face down on the floor, arms out and wail.  I'm not talking about that whiney, wimpy crying stuff.  None of that for this kid.  I mean wail, big tears, heart-breaking stuff.  And then he peeks, to make sure you're watching.  Not always, but man oh man.  My favorite was the day he started to, he made the face, started to lean forward, but he was in his high chair.  Then he opened his mouth WIDE, we all braced ourselves, he had his eyes closed and... no sound. He opened his eyes, took another look around, and did it again.  No sound.  he peeked.  We laughed.  And he's caught.  It doesn't work so well anymore.  But it doesn't stop him from trying.  This is the only picture I currently have of the face-planted wail sessions.

He gets over it pretty quickly.  This picture was taken about 30 minutes after the first!

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Sad to say, I was a slacker mommy.  I have exactly 0.00 pictures of my kids from the last week of June.  I'm not exactly sure how that happened.  This is picture is actually from Sunday July 3.

Walking!

Bruce is learning to walk.  It's so much fun.  As of yet he will only walk to a person, or maybe from a person to a large stationary object, like a chair.  But he's getting better and better!  He's just starting to stand up on his own, with no help.  Stella did that first, then walked.  But Bruce?  Who wants to stand still long enough to figure out how?  He still pulls himself up on whatever happens to be handy, then takes his few wobbly steps.  Then, of course, everyone claps and cheers, and Bruce looks quite pleased with himself.

He's pretty good if he has a finger to hold, though we sometimes get that walking-in-circles effect.  Like if you rowed a boat with just one oar.  It's actually kinda funny.  It won't be long until I'm really chasing down a toddler.  I can wait, but at the same time, I can't!  It's super fun to watch.  And I'm so glad that he decided to start now, while Grandma was here to enjoy it! 

I hope the video loads, then you can see how cute those first steps are!




I love my life, I wouldn't trade it for the world!

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This was the week that Grandma was here!